My abusive yet loving relationship with Bloodborne

I love Bloodbore, but I hate Bloodborne. I don’t want to go anywhere near it and yet, I can’t get enough of it. There’s nothing wrong with that but when you feel like you have so much to play, it begins to feel like a burden.

My initial interest was kindled by all of the enjoyment for the game in a time where the exclusives on PS4 were a little barren. Having been disappointed by a few other games, I wanted something that would be a bit of a challenge as well as something fun.

What had put me off in the past was the hoopla of how difficult it was and my own worries about my ability as a gamer. Could I take dying so regularly? Could I take a huge blow to my confidence if I start struggling? I had to at least give it a go.

It took a while to build up the courage to put it in but when I did, I loved it. The aesthetic, the different level of skill required and the sense of accomplishment to complete a part of the game, it all washed over me quickly.

Then, it was fighting the hunters and the boss battles that really got me going. The rush of adrenaline as you pit your wits against a real tough foe and while I did grind carefully so that I was probably at a more than capable level, it made them no less difficult or the achievement less glorious.

There has been a change in that the more I’ve gone into it. Some of the challenge has felt cheap at times, an enemy or two being a little silly or awkward that have slowed me down but I have been playing at a reasonable pace.

Adding to that is the amount of other games that are coming out as I play, it always feels like I need to dedicate a good chunk of time to get through a section. I’m not enormously far from the end, I have just beaten Rom and I am roughly halfway through all of the bosses in the game.

At this point, like many others must have felt in their time with any of the From Software games, I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. The urge to finish the game is strong, there has been so many moments of joy and both the boss battles and the hunter brawls are a dream to play.

However, it’s taken so long to get there that it’s slowly beat me down and has me playing in little spurts. I see a new area as a trudge rather than a challenge now, wading through the reasonably sharp difficulty spike that had me over-levelling in the past to curve anything that would oppose me.

Hopefully a lantern will light again in my heart to drive me towards the finish line, even if it does seem so far away, and I can push through to all the bits I really want to experience for myself. It’s a bloody brilliant game and those with the time I highly reccomend trying it, but I can only take so many punches to the mouth at this stage of the game.

Or I need to git gud, one or the other.

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